


Until There Was You

by HartSense26809



Series: WestAllen Drabble Collection [14]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Goodbyes, Lost Love, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 06:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartSense26809/pseuds/HartSense26809
Summary: Iris writes a goodbye letter to Barry





	Until There Was You

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for @colbycube on Tumblr as per her drabble request. The drabble prompt was “until I had you” and I changed it a bit to fit my idea. Her only request was for a sad Westallen AU and I hope this doesn’t disappoint her.

Of every second I lie awake, my heart beating just one more time, I think of what I have lived for. I do believe that I can say without prejudice that I have lived my life entirely for myself, through my own convictions, and for my own satisfaction. I never tried to please anybody, but simply be who I was for the sake of being an individual.

  
Until there was you…

  
As I lie here, the moon shining off the water, pouring shards of silver upon the ceiling, I recall the moments, lifetimes, I spent in solitude. The lonely shadow slithering between the lamp posts was mine, the steady breath that rose and fell played no part in a duet nor ensemble. I was a solo artist. I needed no partner nor anybody else’s energies fusing with mine to give me strength.

  
Until there was you…

  
Your arms encompassing mine were not needed, but as the night drifts on, I feel their warmth move through me. My own arms used to be sufficient, but now my mind races, and I cannot recall what it was that used to make me happy. How could I have truly been happy? I did not know the meaning, but I did, for I was happy. There was nothing I wanted that I could not provide myself. I was utterly self-sufficient.

  
Until there was you…

  
But was I? Was the thought of you running through me, giving me the will to live on, alone? The vision of the unknown you, you that danced through my dreams, lingering there for a moment in the morning, then vanishing, leaving me wondering if it had been a dream at all. You were with me all the while, the memory of the stranger I was to meet. I was blind to the dream, because I thought the dream was me, but it was you. And I know that now. You lie there and I watch you breathe. Your chest rises and falls to an even rhythm that is your own. You have broken my will with your simple ways, but also made it stronger. I know that I will always take what I want out of life, just as I always have.

  
Until there was you…

  
I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m leaving in the morning. There, it’s been said. I know you’ll understand. Your perfect smile and laughing eyes are burned into my memory. I have watched you sleeping every night since the first night, my mind running over what I am and what you are. You are a free spirit, a sound sleeper, a lover, laugher, friend; you are my better half and that is why I must leave. I am a loner, a thinker, a gypsy. You are everything I could never be, you showed me the part of life I was missing, and that has made me think. I can never be truly happy again because I know there is another part of me somewhere, lying peacefully in bed, with another, an arm draped casually across your stomach and the other beneath your lover’s head, while I lie awake, alone and convinced that I have never needed anyone.

Until there was you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this latest installment in my drabble series. All comments and feedback are appreciated.


End file.
